My Journey and Recovery from a Torn Achilles

It’s been nearly 11 months since I tore my achilles tendon. Yup, that injury happened to me (still somewhat difficult to admit and write). I never thought I would be writing those words. You never think of an injury of that severity impacting you at any stage in life, much less at 30 years old, in what felt like my athletic prime (or at least only a few years past my prime). A torn achilles never crossed my mind as an injury that was remotely possible for me. I saw that gruesome injury on TV…it wasn’t possible in my life.

On May 6, 2018, that injury became a reality for me, on the last drive of a pick-up touch football game. In the days and weeks after the injury, I moved through the different stages of grief. Why me? How does this injury happen at the age of 30? What does this mean for my athletic future moving forward?

I certainly would have time to ponder and familiarize myself with these questions and hopefully find answers. In pouring through medical research, studies, extracts and athletes’ own recoveries, I was amazed at the lack of first-hand accounts of this injury on the internet. I didn’t find one other Jim Armstrong or Mary Smith (regular people) who had suffered this injury, and his/her account of the grueling recovery.

This injury has been a part of my every day for nearly a year, and after encountering not one first-hand account on the web, I thought I would provide my perspective and lessons learned from the most grueling and difficult year of my life.

Getting Injured on May 6th

I knew immediately I had suffered a severe injury to my lower right leg. An attempt to block a charging rusher on the last drive of the touch football game, led me to engage the individual and step backward to gather myself with my body weight and his, driving into my right leg. I immediately felt what I thought was my QB kicking me in the calf. That feeling I would later learn is a telltale sign of a torn achilles tendon…the thought that someone kicked you in the back of the leg (watch Kobe Bryant’s commentary of his achilles rupture in 2013, and he recounts that he thought that the Warriors Harrison Barnes kicked him). The other sign of a sure-fire ruptured achilles tendon is a loud pop. Thankfully, that was not the case for me, as mine was a partially torn achilles tendon. Nevertheless, I lay there on the grass field, under the early spring sun, peeling off my penny, knowing I faced a likely long recovery timeline.

The Diagnosis

After an initial diagnosis at the emergency room confirmed that the achilles tendon was still in tact, I was somewhat relieved but couldn’t bear weight on my right leg. I knew the injury was severe. Less than 48 hours later, I had an appointment at Rush Medical Center, which is a top 5 hospital in the United States for orthopedic surgeries. I’ll never forget Doctor Lee’s words after my MRI and physical examination, after which I could hardly flex my foot forward (plantar flexion). Doctor Lee informed me that ‘There’s been a disruption of the achilles tendon.’ I fought back tears, as he laid out my two options of rest, recovery and rehab, or surgery. I opted for the second without hesitation, as I knew that was the only way forward, and put me in the best position to recover from this gruesome injury.

What made the timing of this injury particularly painful was that in only a few days, I was set to fly to West Palm Beach with my Dad and our two friends (father and son), who we have been fishing with since 2001. We had done this annual trip nearly every year (or every 18 months) since that year. I would have to sit this trip out, and I had to deliver that news to all three of them that week.

I was devastated, but little did I know that this diagnosis was just the beginning of what would prove to be some of the most difficult weeks and months I have ever encountered. I didn’t know at the time but I wouldn’t walk pain free for 6 months and I wouldn’t be able to run more than a mile without pain for 9 months. I didn’t know these facts at the time. I only knew that the odds were stacked against me at 30 years old. I had to beat the most difficult lower body injury that has felled so many athletes, and reduced nearly every athlete that has dealt with this injury.

The Recovery

I’m not writing this account to get into every detail of the recovery and every week of progress. Rather, I’m here to share the lessons learned from the last 11 months and to provide this advice to all those out there who are going through the same recovery process for this injury, or other similarly severe lower body injuries. I hope my words of advice and candid prose help you through your own recovery.

What is the achilles tendon and why is it important?

Before I dive into my thoughts, I first wanted to establish what an achilles tendon is and why it’s such a vital part of the human body, particularly for athletes.

The achilles tendon is the strongest and longest tendon in the body. The tendon runs from your calf down to your heel, connecting the two, and enables athletes the power and burst to cut, step forward and jump. The tendon is essential and required for anyone who needs to walk. The tendon allows us to generate power to step forward and lift our heels off the ground to take another step.

Rebuilding a damaged, torn or ruptured tendon is likely the longest recovery timetable that an athlete can face. Most physicians and physical therapists advise athletes that the recovery timeline for this specific injury is 12 months, no less. NBA players such as Wes Matthews have recovered in less than 9 months, but that’s a rarity, not the norm. The hardest and most challenging aspect of this injury is the mental toll it takes on an athlete. Even an ACL injury and subsequent surgery often takes athletes 6-9 months to fully recover. Recovery from an achilles tendon tear requires diligence, patience and often the full 12 months, if not longer.

Below are the lessons learned from this arduous recovery.

This injury is as much an emotional and psychological test, as a physical test.

In being as candid as I can be, this injury will quite literally bring you to your knees and then continue hitting you while you’re down on the ground. Literally hours prior to my emergency room visit, I was cutting, running and jumping, snagging balls out the air and scoring TD’s (I think I had two that day). I literally thought to myself that I hadn’t lost much off my top end speed, as I was breaking in and out of my routes that afternoon. That all changed with one step.

In the early days, lean on as many people as you can. In the dozens of hours of literature I have read on this subject, doctors have said that patients with this diagnosis get depressed once they realize just how long the recovery will be. I soon realized and had to grapple with the fact that I wouldn’t be better in 6-8 weeks. I had to wrap my head around the fact that I likely wouldn’t even be close to full speed in 6-8 months. That was my new reality and I had to work every day to get stronger and more dexterous. This approach applied to my mental state, as much as it did to my strength and dexterity of my ankle. I need to strengthen my mind and resolve…that was the only way to attack this injury.

Stay positive during the lows. There are times when it’s hard to stay positive and see the light. In those times, call your mentors, old high school coaches, best friends and family members. It’s ok to feel upset, frustrated and a general malaise. Lean on others when you need support, and when you need someone to carry you when you feel like you can’t go any further.

Prove everyone wrong.

I can’t tell you how many people approached me on the street, in barbershops, on airplanes and in public venues and asked what was wrong with me. As soon as I said that I tore my achilles tendon, most individuals recoiled. Most shook their heads, as if to say ‘this guy will never be the same and he suffered the most gruesome injury an athlete can suffer.’

These responses steeled me and burned me up inside. I can’t really describe it other than that a fire raged within me after having these encounters dozens of times throughout the summer. I would respond flatly that I’m progressing and that no one was going to outwork me in recovering from this injury. No one. I was leaving no stone unturned and attending to every detail of my recovery with precision. I left these brief, but frequent encounters, resolved to prove everyone wrong. I was going to do everything humanly possible to get back to being stronger, both physically and mentally, than ever before.

My advice: Know that nearly everyone you encounter who finds that you suffered this injury won’t believe that you will recover fully. Stash that away in your bank and use it when you’re faltering in a workout or faltering when trying to hop that 3rd cone, and cut right, then burst forward 10 yards. I reached down into that reserve over and over and over again, and have specific names I would think of during my workout…all those individuals who expressed certain doubt that I would never be the same again.

Prove everyone wrong. I love outworking people and I love proving people wrong. Turns out this injury chose the wrong person to mess with.

Stay the Course and Stay True to the Program.

Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts with this injury. This injury has an uncanny way of telling you that you have cut a corner or have not done your daily stretches and dexterity exercises. Don’t cut corners. Period.

Celebrate the small wins, and understand there will be times where you feel like you’re taking a step back. Process these moments, ask questions and understand why you may have taken a step back, and move forward with an informed plan.

You can’t rush this injury. You won’t be running in 8 weeks. You literally need to rebuild your body in order to achieve your goals, and these foundational early weeks are critical to getting to where you need, 6, 9 and 12 months down the road.

Become an Expert in the Injury.

I spent the first 4-5 weeks pouring through hours of doctors studies and literature online. I wanted to know everything there was to possibly know about the injury. In order to ward off the pangs of doubt, grief and helplessness, I resolved to educate myself and become an expert in this injury and recovery.

Again, there are certain things you can control. Being educated about your recovery, asking informed questions at the hospital for check-ups and at physical therapy, were critical to building my mental acuity and strength to overcome this injury.

Physical Therapy is so important.

I can’t speak highly enough of my physical therapist, Jacob. He’s the one who has encouraged me when I’m down and pushed me when he knows I can give more. I have fed off his guidance, expertise and attitude throughout my recovery. Getting an amazing physical therapist and seeking the best possible care has been paramount in my recovery from this injury.

He doesn’t allow me to cut corners. He keeps me honest and if I miss a rep, or do a rep incorrectly, I know before he even asks that I need to do another one…this time properly.

Find someone who you trust will get you back up on your feet. So much of this recovery is the scar tissue work that the PT does, which is critical to regaining dexterity and flexibility. One other physical therapist came up to me and said I was so lucky to have Jacob. He exclaimed that Jacob has ‘hands of God.’ I can attest to those hands as working miracles on my right ankle. This recovery isn’t possible without Jacob and his expert care. Physical therapy is so critical to a successful and complete recovery.

Don’t Ever Let Anyone Tell You What You Can and Can’t Accomplish.

After a month clouded in a general malaise and depression, I resolved to move forward with the attitude that I would come out of this injury stronger mentally, psychologically and physically. No one would approach his/her recovery like I would. Tantamount to achieving my objective was proving to everyone who had doubted me that I would come back stronger than ever.

While the integrity of your achilles tendon is never quite the same, I have rebuilt my glutes, my hamstring, my core and my back to supplement my one-legged broad jumps. I can report now that my right leg broad jumps measure the same as my left leg broad jumps. I’m still working on achieving the same with my triple jump, which is a measure of explosiveness and reactivity.

In closing, know that you control how you approach your recovery from this difficult injury. Work your butt off, surround yourself with amazing people and use the slights/doubts as fuel to drive you when you’re feeling tired or not yourself. I promise you that you will come out stronger from this injury.

Reach out to me with any questions at jjarmstr87@gmail.com. Keep grinding. The journey is worth it and you will come out stronger, both mentally and physically.